Pack a Day: A rant by John Aaron

Pack a Day
(to be read out loud
as fast as you can)

Pack a Day 
Pack it up today 
Pack it in today
Soon as I was born 
I was puffin' away
Salems?
I'd Inhalem...
Knocking down 
Marlboros
Like tombstones 
In a foot race with air
I didn't care...
I can breathe when I'm dead...
Wait...no I can't
But that movie star 
president sold me 
Chesterfields
When I was just three
Gave 'em as a Xmas present
Didn't even card me
Stole them from my folks 
for a smoke in the woods
And only YOU 
can prevent forest fires...
That Bear still scares 
The hell out of me
Everyone smelled like
A conflagration back then
When I was a
Nicoteenager
You need an extra lung
To smoke the extra longs  
You need an extra lung
To smoke the extra longs
You need an extra lung
To smoke the extra longs
Kool baby
Play it cool
Will that be a lung
Or a liver
Fight as you might
It still delivers
Is that what they call
A Lung Transplantation?
Uncle called for
Philip Morris
Right after they removed 
his kidney 
Somewhere R.J. Reynolds
Is laughing
Til he wets his pants...
It will persist
I will resist
I'm just one smoke away
From another pack a day
Just one smoke away 
another from ten thousand
Stitch my lips shut
Induce a coma
So I won't smell 
that tobaccaroma
Would you prefer 
regular...
(insert burst of smoker's hack)
...or menthol?

Rant by John Aaron